Monday, September 7, 2009 at 10:55pm
I’m not quite sure what this entry is all about. It can be what I feel right now or might be what I am thinking now. Either way, I’m still not sure. Hahaha. (forgive my complicatedness)
So, I’ve been thinking (thinking influenced by a few friends in Thailand), is “being happy with someone you love” for me or not? Why do I always find myself in a position where I know there is something but still hold back? Why do I always bail when the reality of something exists? What is it that I’m afraid of? Honestly, the idea of walking the aisle and growing old with someone I love haven’t sinked into my mind. I might have thought about it but it was just mere thoughts–no deep contemplation involved. Will I grow old this way? I hope not. Why can’t I just let loose of myself and just love–loving without fears, loving without holding back, just pure loving…?
Tired. Just tired of this.