Ailings of the Heart


Just a snapshot of my bed. It’s been like these for weeks now. 🙂 Have you ever wondered how it’d feel sleeping with/on (piano) your favorite musical instrument? I am no music genius, okay. And I am not crazy about cello either. It’s just that my bed is the safest place for it to be. Usually, I’d put it on the floor with the rest of its gang (chair, stopper, rosin, bow, music stand, and music sheets) so that whenever I feel like playing I’d just pick it up, sit, and play. But I’ve been having guests. 🙂 Well, I always have friends/colleagues over and I like it. It’s nice hanging ‘in” with my girls–eating, chatting after a day’s or week’s work, watching a movie, playing music, etc. Therefore, to keep my baby safe I’d just put it on the bed and I don’t have to worry about a thing. But this is not actually the reason why I am here sitting on my chair, facing my five or six-year-old computer.

Things have been crazy again at work. It’s a good crazy, please don’t get me wrong. It’s prep time for the new school year 2013-14 and homeroom teachers have to decorate six bulletin boards , write lesson plans and course outlines, and prepare for this week’s classes. School will resume on Tuesday, August 6. I can’t wait to see my old students! For sure we have a lot of things to catch up on. However, I am still prepping myself for my new homeroom students. Some of them were my students two years ago but most of them are “strangers” to me. I am praying that we’ll have a wonderful year together by God’s grace.:-) I hope they will like the look of our classroom. It’s very colorful like a nursery classroom. 🙂 It still feels bare but I know that in no time it will be filled with students’ work.

I am bit worried about getting chicken pox. I played with my friends’ superdooper cute baby girl yesterday. She’s so adorable that I couldn’t resist myself from playing with her. She had that pox on July 15 and yesterday was August 4 so roughly it’s been 20 days since the pox appeared. I am praying really hard that I won’t get it because I am alone here and there’s no one to take care of me. Yes, I am 28 turning 29 but I like having someone when I’m sick. When I was in Korea, I was fine being sick alone but since I came to this country my ‘humane’ side came out. Honestly. Now, I realized that I want to be married, have kids, grow old with someone I love and loves me back. I also want a wide lawn at the front yard where kids and dogs can play and run around and a garden where hubby and I can spend time tending it or reading a book there or just catching up about life after a day’s work. Oh, how I also wish that there was a lake nearby. Just the sight of a body of water makes my heart calm. We can maybe go fishing or have a picnic there. Oh Shiela, wake up! Wake up! It’s the time to sleep and not to daydream! Anyway, these are just but few of the many things I have started thinking about since I moved here. I have to take these off my brain. Let’s go back to chicken pox. Yes, I have read stuff about it online since last night and this afternoon I decided to just let it off my brain. If I get it, it’s God’s will. If I don’t, then it’s also His will. I have nothing to fear. Yes, I’m worried for my face as I have already acne scars to which I am already pondering on doing something about it. I actually consulted a derma few weeks ago and I am ready to do the treatment BUT since the “yesterday” event I am postponing it to September instead. Let us wait and see. 🙂 I actually started treating my acne even when I was in KR but it was ridiculously painful that I had to stop it. Hey, IF SOMEONE REALLY LOVES ME HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO ACCEPT MY IMPERFECTIONS. These acne scars do not only comprise the whole of me. I am God’s creature–formed after His image. Yes, I know I should’ve taken good care of myself back when I was younger but what can I do now? They’re already here. I cannot be feeling all bad about myself and be hiding inside a closet feeling lonely, sad, depressed just because I have these ugly marks. Again, these scars are a part of me. They have been there for many years now and they have helped me be stronger and be a better person. I have learned to go through life with them. I am so thankful to God for sending me friends, classmates, teachers, colleagues, churchmates, and of course family who never judged me based on my appearance…tobecontinued. Got an unexpected call.:-)



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