What is my place on this earth? Where do I belong? What am I doing here? These are just few of the many questions in my subconscious mind. I try to push them away whenever they resurface for fear that I may not still have the answer for those. What am I doing here? What am I doing here? Am I living my life the way God wants me to? Am I a blessing or a curse to the people around me? I have reached the point in my life where I don’t really know what I want. I live for the sake of living. I live because I live. Gone are the making plans and setting priorities days. I am left with what I have at the moment and by God’s grace I try to make the best of it. It feels that I don’t know what I am living for other than go and teach my students daily, spend time with people who truly cares, thank God for all His goodness in my life, and find avenues to serve Him in all ways I can. It’s all about serving and helping now. I don’t think about myself anymore. What is going on with me?
There are days where I want to flee to the unknown world and start anew. I just want to go where I don’t have to worry about this and that anymore and forget everything that pulls my emotions down. I just want to be happy! Who does not want to be happy? Well, I am happy. However, there’s this tiny lump in my life right now that crushes my soul everyday. I wish it would go away soon. I hate having to worry about something that I am not supposed to be worrying about. Why do I take people’s perceptions of me seriously when I know for a fact that we cannot please everyone? That no matter how noble are intentions are, people will always have something to say about us! When I am ever going to just sail with the tide? When? Oh, this is so tiring. I just don’t know what to do. I am at my wit’s end.
Anyway, God is still good. There’s no point stressing myself out because God loves me. He loves me so much that He showers me with people who loves and accepts me for who and what I am. They’re my inspiration and will always be my inspiration in becoming a better person.
Stressors, go away! It’s time to divert my mind into something pretty. Beautiful flowers on a challenging day! Thanks God for the gift of life, family, friends, work, and nature!
Photo Credits: hdwallpapersinn.com
P.S. I love photos and I love taking photos and how I wish I can take inspiring photos and share them with you. But I’m still a novice photographer and my eight-year-old Macbook has started acting up. So, for the meantime, I will be sharing with you wonderful photos I would stumble upon here online. OK?
I am trying to form the habit of looking for something beautiful everyday (tangible) aside from what I see and experience personally.