race | Life is a Gift

“Hey, when are you getting married?”

“Oh, so what happened between you and _____?”

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

These are but few of those many dreaded questions that I have been avoiding for about three years now. Seriously, is it that easy to find or meet someone whom you can entrust your life with other than God? When I met the 3rd guy, I thought he was already the “it”. We were schoolmates in high school, has a decent job (works as an optometrist), is a Seventh-day Adventist, loves pets, soft-spoken, patient, family-oriented, loves motocross, etc. He was quite a catch. I don’t think I’d starve if I’d be married to him. I won’t have a problem with family and church worships. At least the basics were covered, you know. Nothing to worry much. However, there were two things that he was not pleased about. First, me working overseas. He wanted me to go home and build a home together–to which I actually thought was very ideal. Who would love to be married yet live separate lives? I mean, I’d love to come home to a place with my husband waiting for me. But I’d love it more if I’d be able to go home earlier and prepare dinner for him (yeah, those sweet little things you do for your beloved). I may not be a chef but I can still prepare a decent meal. 🙂 Second, my job. If I go home, I won’t be paid much. So he thought he’d send me back to school, get a law degree (since I mentioned that I wanted to be a lawyer before), or perhaps get my PhD in whatever field I am interested in. He said he could be able to finance the family anyway as his family owns optical clinics and he has taken over to one of those clinics. Sounds like a pretty good deal, right? However, things happened not the way we planned them to be. God said,

Photo Credit: christianity201.wordpress.com

Unfortunate events happened. Yes, they happened just when I was ready to give up all my travel and career plans and join him in the country. I already painted a vivid picture of how my life would be with him. But God has better plans.

After the break-up, I went home discovering that my father was already in the coffin. What was I supposed to do? I just lost three dear ‘things’ in my life in less than 60 days–FATHER, BOYFRIEND, & JOB! It was pretty devastating! So unbelievable!

“Where do I go from here?” I asked myself.

Life goes on. Ten days after the burial, I got a job. Praise the Lord! After four or six months, I got a stepfather–that I haven’t met yet. And it’s been two years since the break-up and no new boyfriend yet. If I was ‘picky’ before, I am pickier now. How can I not when we’re talking about a ‘lifetime together’? Am I not entitled to it? I know it’s more difficult to find someone these days considering that there are gays, lesbians, transgenders, and all. But I still think that if it’s God’s will for me to be married then He’ll send me someone. Am I right? Nothing is impossible with our great God!

So, why am I not married yet?

Well, I am in that age where anyone I enter into a relationship with should be the ‘it’. I don’t want to use THE ONE because I believe there is nothing like that. Anybody could be the one as long as:

1. share the same faith

2. share the same lifestyle preferences

3. committed to build a godly home, a life partner, and will accept all my imperfections and help me the best person that I can be

The first two are very, very important. I was born to parents with different religious backgrounds. My mom is a Seventh-day Adventist while my dad was an Iglesia Ni Cristo. Oh, our home was like a battlefield. There were times that my dad wanted to bring us to his church to which my mom strongly disagreed. There were times that he wanted to bring friends over for some boys night to drink beer, play cards, etc. At first my mom was okay with it but then things got pretty messy. My dad’s friends would be singing, shouting, screaming at the top of their lungs when the alcohol has taken the best of them. Their wives would pick them up at wee hours of the night and my mom would be left alone to clean up the mess. Oh, did I mention the stinking smoke? Ughh. As a dutiful wife, my mom would take off my dad’s shoes, bathe him, change his clothes, and put him to bed. WOW! Isn’t that too much? Oh, please don’t get me wrong, I am not being judgmental here. I am just stating what I experienced as a child. Good thing my dad was always away. He used to work overseas and comes home every 2 or 3 years so that means that parties only happened about 15 times in a month. 🙂 Then there were also occasions that he would like to eat pork and other things that we don’t eat. He’d ask my mom to cook but my mom would refuse. So, what happened was my dad would cook those meat in a pot that we don’t use for vegetables, fish, chicken, beef, etc. (those food that we eat). So complicated! It was also because of religion that they split up. After 15 years of marriage, my dad left us. 😦 I know there are a lot of good people out there from different denominations but I just don’t want to worry about these things in my own home, my own family. I don’t mind anyone coming from any race though.